Smiles, sounds, pointing, words – how does your baby’s communication develop?

We’ve arrived at a beautiful topic: one of the most joyful connections between a child and their parents, communication. You could think of it like this: communication is the sharing and exchange of ideas, thoughts, information and feelings through speech, writing, signs or behaviour.

We all sense that communication is fundamentally two-way, and its most important goal is to create genuine understanding between people, understanding that can lead to change and action. Communication builds connection and brings us closer, it’s our primary tool for getting to know one another. It can run very deep, spark ideas, help us share our feelings and values, and in parenting it carries rules, love and acceptance, in short, so many things that build us up.

Which communication channels can exist between a young child and their parents? Smiles, facial expressions, touch, stroking, massage, gestures, words, tone of voice, questions, story time, cuddles, comforting, even clowning about, a bit of rough-and-tumble, and silence itself. In families we use both non-verbal forms such as eye contact and touch, and verbal forms such as spoken words.

What is communication made up of?

It’s interesting how rarely we stop to consider how this kind of connection forms between two people. Let’s look at the process, which works similarly for adults and children.

A mum would like her little boy to pause his game and come to the table for lunch. She knows it won’t be easy to tempt him away from his building blocks. Communication has an encoding stage, when the sender, here, Mum, turns her request into symbols, signs, words or sentences and sends them to her child, either verbally or through body language. In this case she hints gently, tries to encourage, and says: “Hmm, this pea purée has turned out delicious.” Decoding is done by her little boy when he receives and interprets his mum’s signal. Then he responds and gives feedback: he pays close attention, puts down his toy, and heads for the table. The process is simple and clear, provided Mum knows what her little boy can understand. If she gives a signal he can’t interpret, the message won’t get through, noise enters the system. Noise can be any effect, circumstance or action that blocks or distorts the message.

In the newborn period there are three key ways to communicate

A mother hugs her baby

In the womb, a baby lives in complete protection, shielded from loud noise, bright light and jostling, in cosy warmth. That idyllic place suddenly disappears at birth, in its place, a mother’s loving strokes and warm embrace become soothing. Even in the second trimester a baby can feel Mum stroking her bump, and in the third trimester they respond adorably by moving their limbs and little head. Touch is often paired with external sound, so it’s no surprise that a newborn can recognise their mother’s voice soon after birth.

Touch strengthens the parent–baby bond, and it’s important to provide this right after birth, even if the person holding the baby to their chest is Dad or another birth partner. A baby’s primary tools of communication are skin sensation and crying. We’ve written about why babies cry before, do have a read of that too.

At 1–2 months babies cry more often

At this stage they’re learning to adapt to the outside world while being flooded with strong stimuli. They need calm and a sense of safety. Crying creates a powerful communicative link between baby and mother, prompting immediate action from their carer. By the end of the second month, babies try to signal specific needs with different types of crying.

As parents, we mainly communicate through care, our words, intonation and parentese (so-called “baby talk”), babies respond by clicking their tongue, smacking their lips and making sounds. If we mirror these back, we’re starting a true back-and-forth exchange.

Between 2 and 4 months the social smile appears

This gesture carries real meaning. To adults it says, “I’m pleased to see you, I recognise you.” Meanwhile cooing begins, influenced by how often and in what way we use parentese. Babies imitate more and more, not just adults but themselves too, they repeat. In the first six months, the best way for the speech organs to strengthen is through breastfeeding.

Between 4 and 6 months babies recognise sentence intonation

A baby grips their mother’s hands as a signal

This means they’re starting to understand aspects of adult speech. As their speech organs and nervous system develop, cooing becomes more varied. By six months they mainly use the sound set characteristic of their native language, dropping the rest. Babbling can appear by six months. Now they’re not just making sounds, but forming sound combinations that fit the sound patterns of their own language.

The grasp reflex is gradually replaced by a conscious reach towards us. Touch and stroking remain highly significant. Let’s respond to the child’s signals.

Between 6 and 9 months greeting sounds appear

The social smile is no longer just for close family, and nor is babbling. This isn’t just practice any more, there’s an intent to communicate. At around nine months, little ones show their wishes and feelings with gestures. If we imitate the sounds they produce, we reinforce the security of communication between us. Support understanding by naming the objects that have captured their attention.

After 9 months words emerge

These are no longer involuntary syllables or strings of syllables. Protowords start to appear, made-up words without a fixed meaning that the child invents and uses in certain situations. Always accompany shared actions and games with a fitting rhythmic chant, for example, “bang bang”, “ding dong”. This kind of sound imitation helps speech development. By this stage, babies understand simple questions and respond by looking or pointing.

What can a baby do between 1 and 1½ years?

Says their first words, which become increasingly recognisable
Understands up to 200 words
Uses onomatopoeic words, for example “yum yum”
Signals “yes” and “no” with gestures
Understands simple requests and questions and responds to them
Uses words to draw attention
Their passive vocabulary grows rapidly

We’ve reached the “What’s this?” phase

The baby points to the ring on their mother’s hand

Children realise that everything has a name. Driven by their huge thirst for knowledge, they want to learn the names of all the objects around them. What else is new?

A vocabulary burst occurs, new words appear very quickly in the child’s speech
Two-word sentences may appear
Girls may use short word combinations earlier, for boys this can come a little later due to differences in neurological maturation

Did you know?

At birth, a baby’s only fully developed sense organ is their skin. That’s why skin-to-skin contact is crucial, it’s their most important communication channel.
By the age of two, a child may know around 400 words, and uses about half to a third of them.
Singing and nursery rhymes play a big role in speech development.