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Why Positive Praise Matters for Children

Praise and positive feedback can powerfully shape a child’s confidence, self-esteem, emotional balance and persistence. Parents use praise differently: some do it often, others rarely. What matters most for a child is how we respond to their actions, because those responses become part of how they judge themselves later on.

The most effective praise focuses on effort, strategy and progress. It shows your child that results are earned and that trying again is worthwhile. Keep it specific rather than generic. Instead of “Good job!”, try: “You put all your toys back on the shelf. Look how tidy your room is now.”

Little girl painting a bright rainbow

Children can tell the difference between real recognition and blanket positivity. When you name exactly what they did well, they feel seen, valued and motivated to repeat it.

What do we mean by self-confidence?

Healthy self-confidence is knowing your strengths and limits, accepting mistakes and using them to learn, while recognising your own qualities. It shapes life outcomes: with solid self-belief, children are more willing to try, cope with setbacks and keep going.

If self-confidence is on track, children tend to:

have a balanced self-image, even after criticism
show themselves openly in groups
handle setbacks and try again
avoid unhelpful comparisons
communicate clearly and respectfully

If self-confidence is low, children may:

feel anxious or negative
avoid challenges and new situations
stay in their comfort zone
fear feedback and failure
compare themselves to others and withdraw socially

Easy ways to give effective praise

Use these phrases regularly and mean them:

“I’m proud of you.”
“Your idea worked because you tried a new way.”
“It’s okay to get it wrong. Have another go.”
“Your opinion matters.”
“Keep believing in yourself.”
“You stuck with it even when it was tricky.”

How to build positive reinforcement into daily life

Dad hugs his partner and their two young children

Name the behaviour you want to see: “You waited your turn. That was kind.”
Catch them doing well and praise straight away.
Keep rewards small and consistent. A smile, cuddle or sticker beats big treats.
Use stories, songs and routines that model perseverance and courage.
Try confidence-building activities: art, role-play, simple responsibilities at home.
Use affirmation cards or books as prompts for short, encouraging chats.

What children gain from specific, regular praise

They become more optimistic, confident, persistent, socially aware and, overall, happier. They handle life’s bumps with steadier coping skills.

Little girl brushing her teeth on her own

Avoid comparisons

Every child has different interests and strengths. Comparing them to others can create pressure or deflate confidence. Focus on their own progress: “Last week you needed help. Today you did the first two steps by yourself.”