Does Your Approach Work? Key Parenting Styles and Their Effects

A child’s personality develops first and foremost within the family. That early social world, shaped by parents and carers, leaves a deep imprint. Our responsibility is therefore significant.

Family life looks different today. Alongside the traditional set-up, we see single-parent and blended families, as well as wider-family arrangements. Whatever your family looks like, it’s worth reflecting on which parenting style you lean towards and how it shapes your child’s wellbeing and life chances.

Researchers define parenting as the everyday practices and interactions between parent and child that express behaviours, values and beliefs. Below we outline several well-known styles. If you want to go deeper, you’ll find many variations and sub-styles in the literature.

What influences the way we parent?

Most parents want to be the best parent they can be. We build our approach from what we experienced growing up: what we want to keep, and what we prefer to do differently. You can blend familiar elements with new ideas to create a style that fits your family’s needs and values.

Diana Baumrind’s classic styles

Authoritarian (high control, low warmth)

Rules and obedience are paramount. Parents enforce standards through strict limits, commands and punishment. Children may comply, but the approach is generally less supportive of healthy emotional, social and cognitive development.

Permissive (low control, high warmth)

Parents avoid confrontation and hand most decision-making to the child. The idea is that children learn from experience. Without clear boundaries, some children struggle with self-regulation and decision-making.

Authoritative (high warmth, clear boundaries)

This style balances warmth and guidance. Expectations are age-appropriate; parents explain the “why”, set clear rules, and listen to the child’s viewpoint. Research consistently links authoritative parenting with better outcomes in independence, social responsibility and adaptability.

Later addition: Neglectful or uninvolved

Maccoby and Martin extended Baumrind’s model using two dimensions: responsiveness (warmth, acceptance, attention to needs) and demandingness (structure, expectation, supervision). Neglectful parenting scores low on both: little attention, little guidance. Over time this is associated with lower self-esteem, weaker skills and a higher risk of problem behaviours. Children do need parental boundaries.

Maria Montessori’s approach

Key ideas include freedom within a prepared environment, purposeful work that brings joy, opportunities to correct mistakes and build self-confidence, and positive communication without competition or punishment. Montessori emphasised the power of early development.

Connected or attachment-informed parenting

Attachment-focused approaches start from the idea that a child’s primary need is connection. Responding to cues, feeding on demand where possible, and keeping physical and emotional closeness help babies regulate and thrive. Connected parenting adds the insight that children also need space to release tension. Crying can be part of healthy regulation; rather than silencing, hold and comfort while you co-regulate. These principles can strengthen close relationships across the family.

What about “gentle parenting”?

Gentle parenting is a popular modern ethos centred on empathy, boundaries and mutual respect. It focuses on the child’s individual rhythm and the parent’s mental and physical wellbeing, aiming for cooperation rather than control.

Parenting trends shift as psychology advances, and opinions can be divided. A helpful rule of thumb is to choose a loving, consistent approach that fits your child and your values, and to review it as your family grows.

References:

NHS — Dealing with child behaviour problems

NSPCC — Attachment and child development