Mental strain as a mother
Pregnancy and childbirth are one of the most natural times in our lives. After all, we were born for this as women, and we instinctively know what to do. It is a joyful and exciting time, but it can also bring problems and difficulties that we cannot anticipate.
It's impossible to prepare for everything, and it's not a guarantee that you're fundamentally optimistic, cheerful, and agile. After all, everyone has different weaknesses, feels uncertain in different situations, and handles stress differently.
It can be difficult to even recognize where the symptom may be coming from. Because it's not always obvious, and let's face it, the least we can do with a baby is to step away for a moment to reflect and turn inward.
It's worth reading about mental burdens, because by getting closer to the possible causes and solutions, we can soon feel much better.
We have collected the most common reasons that can be a burden for you as a mother.
This may help us to recognize our own problems and find solutions.
What exactly does mental health mean?
It covers the psychological and emotional well-being of a person, if we want to put it very briefly. When a mental disorder occurs, a negative state of thinking, mood, and behavior can be observed, which can result in countless symptoms and symptom complexes.
What can we feel when the balance is upset?
- we are anxious
- we are tense
- we fluctuate emotionally
- we have mood swings
- sleep problems occur
- we isolate ourselves from people
- we experience self-esteem problems
- our energy levels are low
- we are exhausted
- we have difficulty concentrating
Source: Health Development Center
What burdens do we face as mothers?
How we view a situation and how we process it can be completely different.
Some people have no problem at all if their child hardly leaves the house until he is six months old, and even enjoy it, but there are those who find it difficult to bear the physical constraints already in the last trimester of pregnancy. The typical difficulties present are the challenges that occur most often.
Responding with excessive stress
Stress, as a term, has a negative effect on everyone, even though it is a natural function of our body. When we are stressed, neural and hormonal changes occur that help us to be more attentive, alert, and ready.
We feel uncomfortable when stress exceeds an optimal level, persists for a long time, and has an impact on our mood, everyday life, and health.
Source: Buda Health Center
Insomnia
Pregnant women sleep differently than other adults, due to hormonal and psychological reasons. More alert sleep allows the mother to hear every movement of the baby.
Lack of sleep causes stress, impairs performance and attention. It can make you anxious or emotionally oversensitive.
Burn-out
Also known as "burnout" syndrome, which is a common feature of our modern lifestyle. It occurs when we are in stressful situations and emotionally stressed for a long time. The mother goes through almost exactly outlined stages, during which she may encounter the following: initially extreme enthusiasm, self-rejection, neglect of her needs, and distancing herself from her relationships. The situation becomes more serious when indifference, loss of motivation, and constant bad mood appear.
Toxic environment
There may also be external circumstances related to other people. These are often family-related problems, based on insufficiently empathetic attitudes, communication, and actions.
Isolation
It's one of the most common, tormenting feelings that starts to intensify when your baby is a few months old. Days spent at home - especially during the fall and winter months - can become monotonous, and it's often only from the constant signs of depression that we realize it's time for a change.
Experiencing trauma
Birth trauma can affect a new mother if a serious complication or injury occurs during childbirth, or if the woman in labor becomes traumatized due to certain interventions or treatments during a birth that has basically gone smoothly.
In addition to those listed, countless individual stress situations can develop, depending on our personality, our environment, and the influences that affect us.
Source: Imperial Line
How can we help ourselves?
If we are aware of exactly what is causing our bad mental state, then we are at a significant advantage. It may have developed due to an unpleasant external influence that we are familiar with. In this case, we can try to remedy or eliminate this factor.
The first step, which usually has a very positive effect on the mother, is to create regular me-time. This little relaxation gives us the opportunity to go into our own thoughts, recognize the causes of stress, and recharge.
Talking to family members is essential. After all, they may not even know about the difficulties we are going through. Depression, anxiety, or recurring fears are often not visible to the outside world. It is important to tell our loved ones in a calm environment what we are struggling with and to talk about solutions. Often, just one or two changes can significantly improve the situation.
With so much to do around the baby, parents have little time to talk to each other. The lack of communication usually weighs more on mothers. Let's create opportunities for pleasant and reassuring conversations, because this way we can release a lot of tension and feel the supportive closeness of our partner.
Let us let go of the belief – if it exists within us – that everything around the birth of a child is rosy. Let us not place demands on ourselves that would require enormous strength and energy to fulfill.
Let's accept help! If things are difficult, let's think about how close family ties previous generations often raised 6-8 children at a time. They needed each other, it was natural. Today, families raise their children in isolation. Even if we don't want to return to the large family model of our ancestors, we can choose a middle ground in which we can ask for and gladly accept support.
A daily walk with your baby has a good effect on the soul. The tranquility of nature, or shopping, or a quick meeting with friends, will take the mother out of the monotony. Meeting people can be especially good because it fills the mother with joy and allows her to talk about things that are not only related to baby care. It also relaxes the soul.
If you can't do it alone, then let's find a professional!
If you notice more serious symptoms that make everyday life increasingly difficult and affect basic routines that you have been able to perform without any problems, don't wait, seek professional help! What could these symptoms be?
Among others:
- Panic-like feelings or attacks
- Digestive problems
- Sexual disorders
- Severe, persistent depression
- Fears
- Persistent anxiety
- Unhappiness
- Negative, sometimes frightening thoughts
It is important for expectant mothers to know that today there are the best specialists for every problem. They are easy to find and accessible in our online world. In most cases, their services are available through online consultations, conveniently from home.
Today, psychologists, psychiatrists, mental health workers, coaches are available, and we can even find specialists who deal specifically with the problems of mothers.
There are free mental health services that can be called immediately in a given situation and can help you find the right help.
Call if you are in trouble:
Hungarian Association of First Aid Telephone Services (LESZ): 116-123 can be called free of charge 24 hours a day
EMMA helpline for mothers before and after childbirth, at any stage of motherhood: +36 80 414 565
Is there a way to avoid mental problems?
There is no surefire way because how we perceive and process a given situation or ordeal depends on many things. Everyone faces obstacles differently, with different levels of independence, self-confidence, and self-esteem. Our family backgrounds, attachments, and personality types are all different.
One of the best ways to deal with unexpected situations is to be prepared and informed. It's good to listen to the experiences of others, but it's also worth prioritizing books and online educational videos based on real positive solutions.
It's not just about the problems that are worth reading about, but also about taking care of the baby itself. If the mother feels during pregnancy that she will be able to handle the baby well, she will experience much less anxiety after giving birth.
