What do most mums-to-be stress about?

It is natural to worry during pregnancy, as you step into a completely new and unfamiliar stage of life that brings significant changes not only to your body but to your emotions as well. Worry can show up in many ways: is the baby healthy, are they developing well, will the birth go smoothly, will I be a good enough mum? These questions often press quietly from within.
It is important to know these feelings are completely normal, and almost every pregnant woman experiences them in some form. Worry is a sign of taking responsibility, a deep inner commitment to do everything for your child’s wellbeing.

What are the most common sources of stress?

She worries about the baby’s health

The biggest fear is usually around genetic or developmental problems, but the risk of preterm birth, waiting for ultrasound and blood test results, and changes in the baby’s movements can also cause anxiety. Will a breech baby manage to turn? Will everything be fine at the scan? Could certain foods, or stress itself, harm the baby? A mum-to-be may worry regularly, which can affect her physical state too. She may even start to fear that…

…her own health is good enough?

This matters for two reasons. If the mother is healthy, she can provide the safest conditions for carrying the pregnancy, and of course everyone worries about their own physical health too.

Fears usually cluster around well-known pregnancy issues: blood pressure problems, blood sugar swings, anaemia, pre-eclampsia, diabetes, greater weight gain, pain, unusual symptoms, infections and the risks of medicines.

How will the birth unfold?

Because no one can predict how labour will finally go, we think through different possibilities and often pause at the scenarios that frighten us. Stories other mums have lived through, or heard, play a big role. Fears can include coping with pain, complications, interventions, caesarean birth, and anything that might unexpectedly disrupt the imagined plan.

Will I be a good mum?

This is a question we struggle to answer now and in the future. How will I care for the baby? Will I manage crying, sleep, breastfeeding or tummy upsets? This worry usually fades soon after birth once daily life begins, because constant hands-on care takes attention away from anxious thoughts.

What will my mental health be like during pregnancy and as a mother?

If a mum-to-be is prone to anxiety, she may fear how she will cope in challenging situations. The pressure to meet currently unknown expectations can cause mood swings, depression and withdrawal from social connections.

Most worry is triggered when a pregnant woman feels she cannot control or influence the situation, or that birth might exceed her abilities, or that having a child will bring too great a change to her life.

Alternative approaches can reduce stress

It is important to judge how often worry shows up, how intense it is, how much it affects daily life, and whether it causes physical symptoms. Uncertainty is natural, but if it is constant and impacts your health, the best decision is to seek a suitable professional.
Milder symptoms can be eased with well-tried alternative methods. Which one suits you best will vary.

Relaxation, meditation, breathing exercises

One of the most effective methods is relaxation, which activates the body’s self-regulation mechanisms. Soon you may notice many positive physical and emotional changes. A big advantage of relaxation in pregnancy is the ability to let go, turn inward and tune in to your baby. This all affects the baby too, who is closely connected to Mum and can sense tension.

Relaxation also helps during labour. If you learn the technique while expecting, it strongly supports the natural processes of birth. It eases anxiety, reduces fatigue and pain.
After birth it speeds recovery, boosts wellbeing, helps rest and bonding with your baby.

Meditation leans more spiritual. Its aim is calm and inner peace, seeking intuitive insight in an altered state of consciousness. It is wonderful that guided pregnancy meditations and audio tracks are now available, with affirmations that help you connect with your baby.

Creative activities

You have likely heard of arts therapies that help you find harmony and manage stress well. These relaxing, self-knowledge practices can be done at your own pace, and that is their magic. There is no expectation, rush or forcing.
How does creating help the mind?

• Lifts mood, which lowers anxiety

• Switches off everyday thoughts and shifts focus

• Soothes, much like meditation

• Brings success experiences, stimulating the brain’s reward centre and dopamine, creating a sense of happiness

• Liberates and recharges

Creative making can be anything you enjoy: crochet, knitting, sewing, colouring mandalas, writing poems or stories, beadwork, making decorations, and more.

Social connections, conversations, family time

We often do not notice we have become isolated, yet loneliness alone can increase stress levels. The feeling that you are not alone helps create safety. A trusted friend or family member can listen, understand and, with empathy, help ease tension. Even physical contact is enough to release oxytocin, which is calming.

An outside perspective can help you see things more realistically. You may also get practical help that lifts burdens from your shoulders. Laughing together counters stress-inducing feelings.

Movement and sport

Physical activity releases endorphins, which reduce stress and relieve pain. It improves mood, supports better sleep and benefits mental health. In an uncomplicated pregnancy, it is possible to find gentle forms of movement that feel pleasant and do the body and mind good. We recommend consulting your specialist before starting any activity.

Listening to music

People have used music for centuries to express emotion, heal, connect and even for spiritual bonding. In pregnancy, choose music that brings positive feelings. Overly moving, sorrowful pieces can create sadness or low mood rather than comfort.

Meditation tracks, various folk traditions, instrumental pieces and favourite songs all have positive effects. Do not forget classical music either, which offers some of the best health benefits among musical styles. Did you know there is music therapy, a powerful method for addressing different mental health problems?

Reading

We might not realise how helpful reading is for the soul. It transports you to special places and stories, motivates, sets examples and invites adventure. Sleep problems are common in pregnancy, for some almost daily. An evening read before bed works wonders. It calms the mind and body and gently leads into sleep. When choosing what to read, be discerning. Pick quality books that lift you up and match your values.

Handling other people’s stories wisely

Sadly, mums-to-be often find themselves in conversations they would rather escape. Negative examples and horror stories from “experienced” mums can simply let the teller offload their own tension. Be ready to filter such exchanges and consciously avoid connections that drag you down instead of helping.

Fear-inducing talk can plant many worries in a mum-to-be. What helps? Know that someone else’s story is not your story. Leave the conversation if it is burdensome. If that is not possible, use clear, honest communication to say the chat feels uncomfortable.

If stress management is not successful, or anxiety appears, or there are strong negative thoughts or physical symptoms, you may need professional support.

Also read our blog post “Mental load as a mother”.

References:

NHS Best Start in Life: Mental health and pregnancy

Tommy’s (UK): Anxiety and panic attacks in pregnancy