Baby Not Sleeping? Tried-and-tested tips from mums

What can make a baby struggle with sleep? And what can we do to help? Every child is wonderfully individual. Sleep bumps are common, but the cause and the fix vary. It helps to have a toolbox of ideas and a way to observe what is going on for your baby.

Where to start

First rule out anything medical. Tummy pain, colic, wind, constipation, minor illness or general discomfort can all disturb sleep. If any of these are present, they may well be linked to the night-waking.

If your baby seems well, work through these questions:

• What exactly has changed in their sleep?

• Are naps shorter or happening at different times?

• Do they still get an age-appropriate total sleep time in 24 hours?

• Nights: how often are they waking and why might that be?

• Days: are they having very long wake windows?

• Do they drop off easily or need lots of help?

• Are sounds disturbing them?

• Do you have a routine to the day?

• Is the bedtime sequence the same each night?

• Do they wake calmly or crying?

Common reasons babies wake

Newborns often mix up day and night. They may sleep more in the day and be alert overnight. This usually settles within a few weeks. A steady evening routine and a dark room at night help. Around five to six months, motor leaps and teething can increase wakes. From seven to nine months, changes from weaning can affect digestion and sleep. Around eight months, separation anxiety may ripple through the whole routine.

What is the four-month sleep regression?

At about four months many parents notice a shift. It is really a maturation of sleep, not a blip that passes on its own. Babies move to more adult-like sleep cycles of about 50 to 60 minutes, alternating light, deep and REM sleep. Between cycles there are brief micro-awakenings.

Why do micro-awakenings happen?

They are a safety check. Your baby scans the environment and their own state. If anything feels off — hunger, cold, too warm, discomfort — a brief rouse can become a full wake. This can happen five to nine times a night.

Why baby cycles clash with adult sleep

Babies cycle every 50 to 60 minutes. Adults cycle every 90 to 120 minutes. Their frequent checks can fragment your sleep. If baby is uncomfortable with wind, reflux or teething, those micro-awakenings are more likely to turn into long wakes. You cannot remove the checks, but you can stack the odds that baby will roll back to sleep.

How to support calmer sleep

There is no single recipe. Aim for calm consistency and reduce sleep-stealers so more micro-awakenings pass without a full wake.

• Settle where they will sleep. If possible, put your baby down in the same place they will spend the night so waking between cycles feels familiar.

• Keep a consistent sleep space they recognise.

• Mind the temperature. Breathable layers help. LiaaBéBé bamboo babywear supports temperature regulation so little ones are less likely to wake hot or chilly.

• Adapt to the four-month shift. Tweak feeds and settling so your routine matches their new cycling.

• Dark and quiet after bedtime. Keep lights low.

• Repeat a simple bedtime routine in the same order each evening.

• If a 10 to 14 month old wakes to play, offer a few minutes of quiet play in low light and they will often grow sleepy again.

• After eight to ten months, aim to lay them down when they are truly drowsy, with at least two to three hours since the last wake.

What to avoid

Do not move baby to another room and leave them to cry alone. Some babies do stop crying after a few days, but that can come from giving up, not from feeling secure. It can undermine early basic trust.

Basic trust develops mainly in the first two years with loving attention, predictable care and responsive soothing. Repeated, prolonged distress can keep cortisol higher than ideal, which may show up as irritability and lower tolerance. Leaving babies to cry regularly also conflicts with many mums’ instincts and can strain the bond. If your baby wakes with a genuine need, meet it.

Avoid strong stimulation before bed. Switch off TV and noisy toys, dim the room and wind down. Your baby sometimes needs your help to filter out the world.

Most families find that frequent wakes ease around the first birthday as the nervous system matures and nights gradually stretch.

References:

The Lullaby Trust – Safer sleep advice

NHS – Helping your baby to sleep