Has separation anxiety set in?

In the first 6 months, the baby feels one with his mother. He cannot imagine himself without her, they are indispensable parts of each other, this symbiosis is a real paradise for him. As the child develops and opens up to the world, great changes begin. 

When mother leaves the room or puts him down in the same way as before, he now reacts by crying. He becomes distrustful of strangers, gets scared, and may cry. Separation anxiety comes in two stages, around 6-8 months and around 1.5 years of age.

How can we help our child get through these times?

What to do about separation anxiety at 6-8 months of age?

We and the child are going through a temporarily difficult period. At the age of 6-8 months, we can move around better away from our little one, but that's when separation anxiety sets in, which can also affect the nights. The child suddenly realizes that his mother is not always there with him. It is important to understand this situation and be patient with the child. Moreover, at night, restlessness due to the beginning of teething may appear, but the situation is also complicated by complementary feeding, changed digestion, and rapid motor development.

When we can, we let him be with us. If it is safe for him, we can bring him close to us, within sight, while we do housework. Let's talk to him, this is not only good because he always knows we are there, but it is also important for the development of communication. 

Let's listen to his needs, take him if he wants to. Let's create a play corner for him where we spend most of our time. Make sure it's safe for him!

We can also talk to strangers and family members about this period so that they can understand why the little one might be scared of them. This is also important because people who do not have up-to-date information about the child's current period may not be able to react with appropriate caution in such a sensitive situation. However, if they understand that they are helping by not forcing contact if the child is shy, they will not create unpleasant situations for the baby.

How to treat separation anxiety at 1.5 years old?

At 1.5 years of age, separation anxiety comes back, perhaps a little stronger than before. At this time, he is already walking, exploring, but he is often afraid of being able to do all this independently, without his mother. Sleep disorders may appear again. He longs to be held, he needs closeness and security. When he leaves and his mother is out of the space, he gets scared. To help him get used to his new, independent world, there are a few things to keep in mind.

A 1.5-year-old child already understands a lot, but we need to be patient, because he also needs time. When he needs to run to us and recharge in our embrace, we let him do that, we let him. The playground is a great place for him to boldly get away and run back whenever he wants. 

If we have to go somewhere and entrust someone with their care, explain to them where we are going, why, and what they will do until we arrive. Tell them when we will be back, and give them an event to associate with that time. Always keep your promise! It means a lot if we ourselves are calm and composed. 

Separation is easier if it is done at the right moment. For example, when the child is in the middle of a game, it is better to let go. In this case, he also needs to know that mother is leaving and when she will return, so do not sneak away while she is not looking, as this can result in a serious loss of trust and fear.

If the child can follow the mother at any time, and when the mother leaves, she returns at the promised time, then the child will develop trust despite the fear of separation. This trust not only provides a stable foundation for the mother-child relationship during the period of separation anxiety, but will also have a positive impact on both of their lives.

When arriving in a new place, give your child time to get used to the environment. Don't immediately take him into the thick of the company, into the noise, but rather allow him to observe people from a distance. This way, he will approach based on his own feelings and allow others to try to get to know him.

Source: Gyereksmoly Health Center , Kismamablog - Ágnes Vida

It's a difficult time for parents too.

A baby struggling with anxiety takes up a lot of the attention and patience of its parents. It is a completely natural feeling for a mother to want to be alone. After all, her child is more fussy than usual during this period, unable to be without her, and this puts a person to the test without rest and relaxation.

Regular recharge, me-time can help. This may require accepting the help of loving family members. Observe how much time the child can spend without the mother, and also who he trusts to stay with him. Take into account his maturity. This is important because being away for too long, or being close to a person the child cannot accept, can create a stressful situation for him and cause fears. 

What not to do during separation anxiety

Don't leave him/her to cry alone. Don't travel for long periods of time during this sensitive period. If this is difficult for you, consider that this will give your child the security he/she needs from you right now. This way, you may be able to find a solution or a suitable middle ground. 

Let a stranger family member know that your child is being distant from others, and do not hand them over to someone they don't know or are visibly afraid of. 

In what situation should we turn to a professional for help?

There may be situations that feel unnatural, too long, or too intense. This may be indicated if the child

• Even at the age of 2-3, he shows symptoms of separation anxiety and is unable to leave his parents even for a short time, and experiences the distance as a serious anxiety.
• produces physical symptoms when away from parents with someone they know well and like
• is afraid to be alone even in his own home, for example in his room
• too afraid to sleep alone
• isolates himself from his peers, does not make friends, his social relationships deteriorate
• doesn't want to go to kindergarten or school

Source: Children's Path

There is also separation anxiety disorder.

Anxiety symptoms are part of physiological processes at certain stages of life. Anxiety disorders are often difficult to notice because they do not show noticeable signs. However, the child faces them every day, suffers from them, and they are a problem for him. 

In terms of their nature, they can be social anxiety disorders, phobias related to specific objects and situations, and separation anxiety disorder. The latter can also occur in preschool and school age, especially with excessive attachment when saying goodbye, often with clinging that leads to crying. The child is intensely anxious about being separated from the parent. 

Separation anxiety disorder is different from the anxiety experienced at 8 months and 1.5 years of age mentioned above. It is different in that in the case of separation anxiety disorder, the fear is present at an age when it should not be. It can trigger a strong reaction in the child, and the parent's heart also tightens in these extremely difficult situations. 

If, as parents, we perceive our child's ongoing anxiety, we should seek professional help so that the child can live a full life as soon as possible and avoid mental problems that develop later.

Source: Mindset Psychology

Separation anxiety is an important period in a child's life. This is when they experience what they can do alone, what fills them with fear. They experience that there are people they can trust and those they cannot. They become aware of their own abilities and limits. And the parent stands by them at this time, and, allowing them to become independent, holds their hand and gives them a hug if they need it.